bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
