Whoa Z and x make the same sound
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize