Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
