i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
