bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
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