DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
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LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
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My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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