the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
