My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
