we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
