I'm jealous of your bromance
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
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Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.