Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.