I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Found the puke drawer
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?