well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
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Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
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I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.