Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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