1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
