Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
