Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
