North Korea, Best Korea!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
