She just used a chaser for red wine.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
