I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
