Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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