Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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