Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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