Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
