He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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