Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize