oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
