Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
