I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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