the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
