Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
