found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
