he puts the penis in happiness.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
MIDGETS
????
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
