I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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