Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
