I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
