This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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