i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
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Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
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I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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