I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
