Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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