I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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