She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
