I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
