i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
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I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
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My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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