Do vagina's smell?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Randomize