Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just come out here and I will go home with you...
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I want to be your penis for a week.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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