What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
