I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
