She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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