Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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