pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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