a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
