i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He shit in the fireplace
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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