If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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