So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
