I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
